How to Get My Ex Back When He Has Moved On

Have you lost your boyfriend, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you.
1 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.
2 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.
3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.
4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.
5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.
6 - Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious "you can't have me" kind of way.
7 - Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side, which will not do you any good.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

How To Get My Ex back If He Wants More Space

Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfectly is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend may suddenly need space, including family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few. Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.

- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.

- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.

- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.

- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.

- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:

• Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others.
• While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
• Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
• Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
• You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression. 

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships. 

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you. 

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work In Your Favor

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you.  Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up.  They're used to help people move on from a real love.

And that's the key to getting your ex back.  She's in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you.  It doesn't matter if it is your fault or hers.  It doesn't even matter who actually called the relationship off.  What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she's in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship.  If you were a "good guy" she'll probably be hanging out with a "bad boy."  If you were into philosophy, he'll be watching Monday Night Football.  Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons.  Her attention is still focused on you even when she's with the new guy.  And, it gives you a chance to see what she's looking for.

If she's with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship.  You can use the time she's with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course.  Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she will start to see the flaws in him.  After a month or so with rebound man, you'll start to look pretty good.

That's why you don't want to crawl back to her right away.  Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship.  When she's ready to make a move, be magnanimous.  Welcome her back graciously.  Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don't do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

* Don't try to convince her that you are the love of her life.  Let her discover this on her own.

* Don't apologize profusely.  If you did something wrong, you can say you're sorry.  Once.  But move on.  She knows the real reason she loves you.

* Don't make promises to change.  You are who you are and that's who she fell in love with.

* Don't try to make her see that it wasn't your fault.  She will come to appreciate that over time - but only if you haven't made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

Get Guy Back After a Breakup

It can be a difficult time after a man breaks up with you.  You probably don't feel or even act like yourself at this point.  Life almost seems like it has lost its meaning with him in it.  Maybe you want to get guy back.

Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out.  They just wanted it to end.  It's usually easier to work out a relationship while you're still in it; as opposed to when it has ended.

With that being said, you can get guy back if he broke up with you.  The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want.  Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones.  Don't want him back just to have him back.  Make sure  that there are very good reasons why you want him back.

The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Some people can make up and move on.  Others, they just can't recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared.  Even if you don't succeed you will know you did your best to get guy back.

If you want to get guy back, you must, and there is no room for negotiation on this, get your emotions in check.  Guys do not want to be with women who can't keep their emotions under control.  If you attempt to contact him while you don't have control of your emotions you may do even more damage.  For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you're an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.

The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he's doing, or feel sad that you don't have him, is to start living your own life.  You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup.  Keep up with your daily routines.  Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself.  Hang out with your friends.

If you're staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back.  If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you'll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.

When he does, just keep it brief.  Tell him how busy you've been.  Don't get mushy or gush out feelings for him.  Act indifferent and aloof.  This will confuse him.  If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best.  Don't let him touch you or kiss you.  Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that's it.  This will drive him crazy.  From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily.  Just take it slow.

As you can see, you can get guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control.  Life your life to the fullest.  Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best.  Back off, give him space.  He'll most likely contact you and want to see you again.  When he does, be a little bit of a tease.  Make him work for your affections again.

Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Read 5 Simple Tips

It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back.  It's not really our fault.  No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup.  Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then  these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:

1. The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight.  You need to get rid of the negative thoughts.  You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You have to be willing to be strong. 
   
Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down.  You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear.  Negative thoughts are destructive behavior. 

2. Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over.  All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened.  You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past. 

Focus on what is going on now.  If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back.  Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened.  Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day.  Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
       
3. Don't pester your ex boyfriend.  Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them.  Especially ex boyfriends.  You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while.  Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him.  Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake.  He may begin to actually miss you.  If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.

4. Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup.  Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle.  If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy.  When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside.  By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy.  When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others.  You will become an object of desire to men.  This includes your ex boyfriend.

5.Take it slow.  If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you.  Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4.  He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you.  Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him. 

Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you.  If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy.  It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.

These tips may not be easy for you to do at first.  You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation.  These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.

And please … don’t just read this! Actually TAKE these action steps and watch the magic work! After that, if you’d want to know about more simple but powerful action steps to take, then I’d highly recommend your reading the bestselling ebook ‘THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP’.

Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Does your to-do list look something like this:

·    Walk dog
·    Water plants
·    Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it.  The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance.  The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason.  Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest.  That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup.  In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship.  If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion. 

Don’t put your partner on the defensive.  Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love.  Be present during the break up.  Your partner may become very emotional during this time.  You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship.  Your partner may say things they don’t really mean.  Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship.  Or, they may need space.  Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty.  You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex.  It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting?  Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide.  Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met.  If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself.  You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place.  It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times.  It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times. 

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship.  If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them.  If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why.  Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over.  You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could.  Concentrate on what is going on now.  The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them.  Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one.  You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you.  You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships.  But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?

In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships.  And the answer will surprise you.  Read on…

First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name.  There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life.  Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library.  As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35.  They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation.  But does their expertise work in the real world? 

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches.  They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same.  These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either.  These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.”  This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say.  Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents.  These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that your friends can’t give you. 

For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most?  Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her?  Will the book show you how to recover from an affair?  Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book.  Do the testimonials seem a little generic?  Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?

You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life.  If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.

There are many books on relationships on the market.  Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches.  As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two.  Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.

Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work.  But, everything about relationships are work.  Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out of them?

Advice on Relationships How to Keep a Woman Happy

Do you know how to keep a woman happy?  Here is some advice on relationships for men.
The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself.  Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show.  But a confident man is the sexiest beast around.  Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women?  That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.
Next, you should do the little things.  This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time.  Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.
This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her.  You shouldn’t take her for granted.  Let her know that you value her.
Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her.  Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at.  They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.”  This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women.  Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children.  They can’t help it.  That’s how evolution designed them.  So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.
You should try to make her laugh.  While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor.  So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.
The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests.  It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers.  If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it.  This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.
Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes.  And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt.  So, shave on weekends.  Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men.  In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her.  You can unland her just as easily.
If you are really interested in going further into the topic, then I'd highly recommend to internationally famous ebook THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP.

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?  Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship.  The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message.  This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship. 

Don’t keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and open.  Assume everything you know will eventually come out.  Secrets require enormous energy on your part.  That is energy that could be going into building the relationship. 

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.  Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no.  When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  These become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what is difficult. 

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup.  A breakup is a strange thing.  Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do.  With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back.  In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back.  You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you.  That is not a healthy relationship.  If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern.  When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new.  They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes.  After a short while comfort sets in.  You adjust to each other.  When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change.  The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now. 

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships.  After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts.  This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship.  It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship.  Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over?  You need some answers on how get your ex back.  Here are four steps you can take.

1. Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods.  Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step.  Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons.  After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything.  Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship.  Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical. 

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument.  The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight.  If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive.  Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2. Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk.  Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this.  If they don't want to, then just go to the next step.  If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check.  This isn't the time to get into a fight again.  Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion. 

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results.  It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3. Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back.  You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do.  It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you.  If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4. Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed.  If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors.  Hang out with friends.  Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.  Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life. 

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls.  Then they'll be wondering what you're doing.  If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it.  Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back.  Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back.  This will probably shock them.  You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her.  Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving.  While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work.  Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children.  But that is not enough.  How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.  One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. 

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.  For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.  While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.  If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship. 

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts.  This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.  Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling.  When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.   Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them.  Then, take concrete steps on your action plan.  If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week.  Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.  And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward.  Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. 

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.