How to Get your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Driving Him Away

Did something go wrong between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and somehow managed to fall off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of where to go from here.

First, you are going to want to ask yourself four vital questions. These are really important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.

- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting?

- Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now?

- Can anything be changed or made different by prevailing in the argument or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on?

- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place?

If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled if a large argument is settled. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing argument are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on.

The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to let go on these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be.

Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation.

Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution.

Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care significantly for.

These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP. And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself.  You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place.  It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times.  It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times. 

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship.  If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them.  If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why.  Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over.  You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could.  Concentrate on what is going on now.  The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them.  Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one.  You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you.  You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup.  A breakup is a strange thing.  Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do.  With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back.  In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back.  You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you.  That is not a healthy relationship.  If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern.  When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new.  They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes.  After a short while comfort sets in.  You adjust to each other.  When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change.  The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now. 

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships.  After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts.  This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship.  It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship.  Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over?  You need some answers on how get your ex back.  Here are four steps you can take.

1. Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods.  Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step.  Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons.  After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything.  Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship.  Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical. 

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument.  The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight.  If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive.  Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2. Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk.  Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this.  If they don't want to, then just go to the next step.  If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check.  This isn't the time to get into a fight again.  Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion. 

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results.  It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3. Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back.  You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do.  It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you.  If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4. Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed.  If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors.  Hang out with friends.  Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.  Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life. 

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls.  Then they'll be wondering what you're doing.  If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it.  Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back.  Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back.  This will probably shock them.  You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

How To Make Your Ex Return Your Calls

So you’ve kind of broken up with your lover – maybe even started to call him/her an ‘ex’ (for convenience, we’ll use ‘he’, but this applies even to a ‘she’).

After a gap of maybe a few days, when things have cooled off a bit, you want him back again. So you take the initiative and try to call him – or text or IM him. But he doesn’t answer!

So what do you do?